How to Win Through Networking Events
Giving a business card at the Asian Jewish Business Network’s inaugural event at Lords’ Cricket Ground in London. Sehjal, a tax specialist, came up to talk after I had asked a question during the Q&A with a keynote speaker. Photo: Leivi Saltman Photography
As a general rule, I avoid networking events like the plague. They’re full of desperate people shoving their business cards at you and doing everything they can to sell.
But, I do lots of networking. I attend non-networking events that are great for networking such as charity fundraisers and I handpick the best networking events to attend.
In this article, I look at 10 do’s and don’ts for networking events, to help you make the most out of your time.
At the end, I also share my approach to choosing the right networking events to attend.
1) Get over your inhibitions - quick
You don’t have time to be shy. You don’t have time to hover in the corner whilst you pluck up the courage to start a conversation. That’s not why you’re there.
This isn’t necessarily easy, but it’s simple and important. You’ve got to get used to jumping straight in. If you’re paying the big money to get into events (we’ll come onto that later); if you’re sacrificing an evening or even a day of work to spend at an event, you’ve got to maximise every minute.
With each conversation you start with a stranger, it gets that bit easier. So if you know this is one of your weaknesses, practise outside of the business setting. Start conversations on the tube, in the airport and at your nephew’s Bar Mitzvah.
Remember, the only barriers are mental. If you think you can’t do something, you’re unlikely to do it - that would be illogical. If you know that you can do it, if you don’t care how people may react if it goes wrong and if you trust your capabilities, there’s nothing holding you back.
I still sometimes get a bit anxious as I walk into a new setting. It’s natural. But most of the time, I jump in and immerse myself straight away, whilst everyone asks me “how do you do it?”
They think the answer is in the lines I use to start a conversation… it’s not. There’s no secret there - I’m just myself.
How I do it is by overcoming my own mental barriers and just starting. After that, it’s easy.
I think confidence is one of the keys to success that we often overlook. I’ve delivered workshops to help people develop their confidence more, in which I put the participants through a series of challenges that demand an increasing level of confidence each time. If you’re interested in trying some of these challenges, click here and I’ll send you some by whatsapp.
2) Be the centre of attention
If you’re the centre of attention, everyone will come to you. That’s power. Ever notice how sometimes, the keynote speaker or panelists at an event seem to be just ordinary participants, minding their business in a corner near the bar without talking to anyone? But after they’ve been up on stage, the majority of the audience starts fangirling and wants to talk to them (even if they have nothing to say).
If you’re just another Pawn in the crowd, when you approach someone, there’s no real reason for them to invest in a conversation with you. You’re just a guy. That’s hard.
But when you’re the Queen of the chessboard, everyone is looking at where you are, because you have power. Or the King, so that they can get to you - the metaphor works either way.
If you can be the centre of attention in the room, people will start to come to you, making your work a lot easier.
If you’ve got an opportunity to speak at an event, never pass it up. Think of a short, yet impactful message you can deliver and take the opportunity to get in front of everyone.
If there’s a problem that arises and you can solve it, which people will see, do. If there’s something you can make a great one-line joke about - all in good-natured humour, at nobody’s expense - take it. Everyone will glimpse at your face. You might not be the King, but you’ll be more than a Pawn.
Ask (good) questions at the Q&A
Q&As are a great opportunity for this. Many events will accept audience questions - you just need to think of a question that everyone can understand and relate to. Come up with something that will have the audience nodding along, “Oh yeah, that’s a really good question”.
Get your hand straight up at the very beginning and try to be picked. Make sure your question is heard by everyone - either wait patiently for the mic or in a smaller room, stand up and speak very clearly.
Asking questions to the Keynote Speaker. Whilst others spent thousands of pounds on sponsoring the event, I captured the attention of all 350 attendees for 45 seconds… just by raising my hand. Photo: Leivi Saltman Photography
Even if people aren’t coming up to you after this, when you approach them, you’ll find many start by saying, “nice question earlier” as you shake their hand. They’ll already be that bit more comfortable, because they recognise you. I once asked a question about HR and hiring practices to a CEO at a big networking event - people were intrigued by the fact that I’m not in the talent sector at all and that made for deep conversations as we spoke about the role of recruitment in our various businesses.
Look up the speakers before the event and try to plan some questions in advance - you’re only going to need one, but you don’t want to ask a question that’s already been answered. If you come up with a great question in the middle of the speech, write it down on your phone, or I guarantee you’ll forget it. That’s just life.
3) Don’t try to sell
Counter-intuitive, isn’t it? Perhaps I should have put this first though, because it’s the number one rule. Don’t be that guy (or girl, I use guys as an all-encompassing term) who shoves cards in everyone’s faces and only cares about the sale.
If everyone is interested in selling, no one is interested in buying, so very few people are likely to succeed in selling anything. It’s a vicious cycle.
Yes, you may get some leads. Yes, some of them might take a demo and may even convert into buyers. But that’s rare.
Try to bite of sales and you’ll be left with nothing.
Instead, you need to focus on connecting; establishing relationships and all the other cliches.
Make people like you. Leave people with a positive impression of you. Focus on you and the person you’re talking to and later, you can call them up and ask if you can tell them about what you do. Or you can send them an email, so they know what you do and have it in mind, should they need it in the future.
4) Make notes
It’s impossible to speak to 30 new people within the space of 2 hours and remember each of them distinctly. If you’re relying on your memory alone, you’re chucking it all down the drain.
Make notes on your phone after each conversation or write down on the back of their business cards, if they give them to you. Quickly note any topics of discussion or important points that you’d like to use to follow up later.
If you’re adding people’s details straight to your contacts, you can use the notes section in the contact app to keep everything nice and neat.
5) Smile
Seriously, lighten TF up.
This isn’t that hard. Do I really need to explain it?
6) Don’t focus on the food
If you wanted a nice meal, you’d spend the same money on a sit down 3-course in a nice restaurant. Not on the buffet everyone else is sticking their hands in.
The same goes for the booze. Rather than dropping £120 on entry to an event, you’d get two great bottles of Scotch, invite some friends round and enjoy your evening.
You’re not there for the food or the booze. So be quick about grabbing a drink and then move on to networking.
The food is a trap. You spend all your time with one eye on the buffet or queuing at the bar and guess what? You haven’t done any networking.
This is a simple one - but it happens to many people so I’m including it here.
7) Share stories
Your business isn’t that special or unique #sorrynotsorry.
Whatever you have to say about it, so does someone else.
And to be frank, people don’t really care that much.
So you could get up and speak all about your product or service and the various features and benefits it offers all day long…
But what’s the point?
Does anybody care enough to listen?
Instead, try sharing stories. We all love stories and they help us connect on a human-to-human level. Talk about your personal experiences, talk about customer stories, talk about things you’ve seen - paint a picture of your product through the stories you tell. People will remember those far better than they remember your list of features.
8) Don’t clique up - invite others in
There are two important points here - first, not gathering with your friends and colleagues when you’re meant to be speaking to new people or reinforcing weaker connections. That’s an easy way out of doing the hard job you’re there to do - network. Divide and conquer. Catch up later for the afterparty.
The second is when you are speaking to people, don’t position yourselves in a way that closes you off from the rest of an event.
If you start a conversation with someone and you’re both facing each other straight on, or worse, you’re a group of three/four all facing inwards with no gaps, you’ve shut yourselves off to spotting new people you may want to bring into the conversation and you’re preventing other people from coming up to try and join.
I’m going to take it for granted that you don’t want to spend all your time on one person. Why is a whole separate discussion. Read Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi for more on that.
When you’re two people standing, try to stand perpendicular to one another - i.e. side on, as if you’re on stage or posing for a photo. That’s not next to each other, which would make it difficult to talk, but rather like two sides of a square.
When you’re three, beware of the triangle - stand as three sides of a square instead, or better yet, open up even more.
If you’re four, it’s harder - but keep in mind that you want to be a semicircle, not a closed circle - a bit like a panel of speakers.
9) For the love of God…
I shouldn’t need to say any of these, but…
Wash your hands as you arrive at the venue. Then dry them fully. Let’s not forget all the lessons taught by coronavirus.
If you need to sneeze or blow your nose, step outside, do it without spraying the rest of the crowd and wash your hands again.
Don’t start conversations in the toilet. Please. We can all wait until we’re back out. Business done in the toilet is shit.
Don’t start hitting on people. Yuck.
Don’t interrupt people so that you can talk.
Dress appropriately. That’s different for different events, but get it right.
Don’t talk during speeches.
How to Choose the Right Networking Events
Price
There are exceptions, but price is often a good indicator of the quality of networking events.
Free events are full of desperate job seekers and people trying to make a quick sale.
Events between £30 and £60 are a good mix of more senior people, who don’t need a sale on the spot and are looking for connections and relationships.
Events above the £100 mark are a gold mine - because the people there don’t tend to need anything. They’re not looking for sales. They’re not looking for jobs. They’re not looking for anything. They’re there to mix with similar, like minded people, without a specific agenda. What happens in these events, which are more exclusive by virtue of their price, far outstrips other events.
Generally, these events are not networking events - but they’re the best places to network.
Charity Galas, with tickets costing £150-500 a head and sponsorship packages coming in at thousands of pounds, are the perfect example. People are there to support the charity and have a good time - they’re off the clock, relaxed and open to talking. Establish a relationship at a charity event and it goes a long way.
Conferences, which can cost hundreds of pounds before you pay for flights, accommodation and food. People come to learn - not to sell - and to meet other like minded individuals. They’re likely to be focused on your industry and packed with experts. What more could you ask for?
Location
Networking at a Young Professional Mixer at Tower Bridge, December 2019. Photo: Georgia Lubert Photography
Location is another great indicator of the quality of an event. If the hosts have gone to the effort of securing an attractive location, the right people are more likely to turn up. I’ve recently attended events at Google’s London HQ, Lords’ Cricket Ground (pictured above) and Tower Bridge (pictured below). Events in nice hotels and on rooftops are generally better than those held in community centres, cafes and meeting-rooms for hire.
Common Denominator
Every event should have a common denominator that unites the people attending. You’ve got to find one that you click with. For example, I attend lots of Jewish charity and community events - the common denominator is that most of us are Jewish. Many relationships have been established after Saturday morning prayers in synagogues when everyone gathers together for scotch!
You might find an event focused on freelancers, who share the same struggles and can support each other, or a chamber of commerce event, bringing together ex-pats.
Networking in a Coworking Space
If you work in a coworking space, that’s also a great place to network. Head to the afterwork drinks; the quiz nights and the hot desking areas to mingle with the other members. These are great, because you’ll continue to see the people around the office - so you really don’t need to sell and can focus on setting the foundations for that long-term relationship. You can create strong identification - a shared bond between you - that makes them likely to recommend you to others.
“Oh you need a new insurance firm? Try Mark - we work in the same office and he’s a great guy”.
Whilst we’re on the topic, way back when I was working at OneCoWork, I wrote this article with 6 conversation starters for in your coworking space. Check it out.
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